hate the beginnings

so i'm beginning to write a correspondence to this boy, who we've been having a great witty fun time writing back and forth. getting to know each other. quirks and whatnot. and i look forward to the emails. but i wait. and sit. for that email. i hate that i'm waiting. i know that i will feel better if i received his email. an email that doesn't come when i thought i could depend upon it. i hate that feeling. i need to force myself to get out there and not wait. i hate waiting. patience. i always say to my fellow friends. maybe they have something else to do that needed their attention first. its just nice to get that certain attention first. you're first on someone's list. i just want to be first. boo.